Erik Gray

Erik came and knocked on our door all the time. We played games in his apartment and I can't tell you how many times he laughed at my jokes. He thought I was hilarious. It made me feel so loved in a place that was new and different. One day in October, Erik completely changed my college experience. We had been at Pineview for a couple of  weeks and my roommates and I kept to ourselves in our apartment for most of that time. Erik came knocking on our door that night and asked us to go clean the sink at Angie's. We hesitated, (I was eating a smoothie already) but we decided to go. So Alex, Bekah, and I got our stuff and headed out to the lobby. That's where I met one of my closest friends- Abbi Ross. I met people I had never known before and I was making really good memories. Because I went that night, I became good friends with Abbi which then in turn introduced me to all of the people on the other side of the building than me. We all became like a family, and in time I even met Matt because of knowing those people I met that night. Erik was caring. He looked out for everyone and was completely inclusive. He knew everyone wanted to feel needed and tried his hardest to make them feel as such. I remember playing the song- Annie's song, by John Denver with my door wide open. I wanted to send a subliminal message to all the people in my apartment building to think about me and the music drew Erik in. He complimented me on my John Denver music taste and talked with me. He would come by our apartment any time the door was open. He would stop in just to say hi. I remember he made me feel like he had all the time in the world to be talking with you. He never tried to make you feel like he didn't want to be around or that he had better things to do. When he was with you, he was with you.
He would laugh at my jokes, give me insights to my life, anything I needed, he offered it. Before I started dating Matt I kissed this guy as a joke, but I REAAALLLY didn't want Matt to know about it. I was super worried he would think I was dating him and lose interest in me. I remember telling Erik ALL about it. He reassured me over and over telling me I was fine. And of course, Erik was right.

Erik was the best werewolf host ever. I remember endless laughs with him when he allowed me to cohost the game with him. We had the most fun of anyone in the game. A lot of the time I couldn't not talk during the game so not being the host was the worst. Erik letting me host the game with him is still some of the greatest times I had at college. We would say ridiculous things, or come up with weird stories for the people that died in the game. With Erik, the game was a blast.

We had a group date once with all of my roommates, Nicole asked Erik. We went on a scavenger hunt all over Logan. It was the most fun I've ever had on a group date. Afterwards we went and played games at my apartment. We played the animal noise game and I just remember the joy that Erik brought. Anytime there was a gathering of people, Erik could make it such a fun time.

When I learned that Eriks cancer came back, I was so hopeful. I couldn't imagine a world without Erik Gray in it. I couldn't imagine him NOT beating the cancer. Then come December. Erik released that he was getting put on hospice. It crushed me. I remember Matt and I had been in sort of an argument. It was early in the morning and I was wailing with sorrow. It crushed me. I was absolutely crushed. I couldn't imagine a world without Erik and yet, here it came. I called Matt and sobbed to him. He is the most patient man. I remember him listening and reassuring me everything would be okay. But I still felt so much sorrow.
I texted Erik that night all I ever would have wanted to text him. He didn't respond, but I don't take it personally. He was probably overwhelmed with the amount of people that reached out to him. Because the truth is, he truly touched SO many people's lives!
During his time at home, Erik started posting Quotes of the day. I looked forward to them everyday. I screenshotted a ton of them and I am so glad I did. They will forever be little snippets of Eriks wisdom for me. On days I least expect them, I'll see a screenshot and be reminded of a man I truly aspire to be like.

February 10, 2017 has become another gloomy February day for me. I woke up with a stomach ache and decided not to go to class. I just felt off, I felt like I needed direction, so I read my patriarchal blessing. I focused a lot on the parts of my blessing that said my blessing would have peace in my life. I also wanted to study more about the blessings that come from the lineage of Ephraim, so I pulled out my phone. I started researching when I all of the sudden felt like I should get on Instagram. I scrolled down a couple of entries and thought, what in the world am I doing? I need to study. I researched a little more and yet again I found myself on Instagram. I picked up where I left off and found that the post right below the post I had initially stopped on was from Erik Grays mom. It said that Erik had finished his earthly mission. I never thought that I would get promptings to do the opposite of studying scriptures and I think that is why it was hardest for me to catch on, but I am extremely grateful for the preparation that Heavenly Father gave me that morning. Yes, very much like the day I read Eriks blogpost, I was weeping and wailing. I felt a weight closing in and sadness overcame me, but I was prepared. Even now as I write this, I am sad recalling the initial finding out, but I have quite a lot of peace. I know the plan of salvation to be true, and I know that Erik lived his life according to the teaching of Christ's church. I know that he has been welcomed into the arms of our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.

Erik taught us to love God and to trust him. No matter what our circumstances, God will always be good. Erik had some crappy things thrown at him yet he always looked to the positive, always looked to God. I think we all need that. We all need to realize how great our God truly is. Without him, we would not exist and our lives would not be the same. Life can be tough, but every day living is a day that God gave us. I'm extremely sad that Erik isn't here anymore. I'm sad I won't ever get to talk to him, or play games with him. But I am so so glad that he is out of his physical pain. His body is whole again, and that is what brings me peace. Erik lived a marvelous life. So the only thing to do now is learn from him. Take each day at a time and appreciate them. Love God and love people. Love the life you've been given because like Erik always said- YOLO! We can only continue on with our lives and try to have the positive outlook. "It's not a bad day. Today is a great day to be awesome." Thank you Erik! I will live by that, and I'll keep running.