One month ago

I woke up around 8.

Having no first period is a serious perk of senior year.

I went to school, since it was a b-day, preschool is first.

Then I went to seminary, and we talked about the previous day, how a boy was going to commit suicide, but they stopped him.

We spent the rest of the day talking about the signs, what we should do, how to help other people.

I talked about one of my friends and how he's kind of attached to me and that I was scared of not giving him my attention because what he could do. 

I didn't once think about you during this lesson.

After school I went home, texted Natty trying to figure out what we were going to do.

And at that time, everything was still okay in my world.

My mom made me go to Young women's but I left early so I could meet up with Natty to go to the DI.

We went to the DI, then went home and got ready for the Noscars.

Then everything seemed to collapse.

All the walls around me seemed to be closing in on me.

I don't know if I truly understood anxiety till that moment.

I've had attacks, but nothing like that.

It felt like time stopped, like everything was some sick joke.

My heart stopped.

Like I was living in some slow motion world, where I could watch myself in a complete panic. 

Slow mo where my heart beat excessively, and my breathing got quicker. 

It hurt so bad.

And that was that day.

One month ago.

Nothing's been the same since.

I haven't gotten you off my mind.

And I don't think I ever will. 

One month ago, my life seemed pretty good, and I was happy.

I guess one second can change a lot though.

Because one phone call, caused me more pain than I've ever felt.

It all crushed to the ground.

Everything that was good seemed to disappear.

Slowly though, my world is being built new.

It still has the same beams and base because that didn't change.

But the rest had to be created new with time.

You're still in my world, but not the same way.

You have become part of my foundation.

A place you'll always stay.

Please always stay.